by MassachusettsJustice of the Peace & Notary Public
Carol J. Merletti
Carol J. Merletti
Unique Wedding Ideas
Bride and Groom Facing Each Other During the Ceremony
During the many weddings that I have attended before becoming a Justice of the Peace, I often wondered why the
officiant faced the guests, while the bride and groom had their backs towards them when exchanging the most important
aspect of their wedding ceremony – their vows. It always appeared strange to me. When guests are taking pictures, they
want to see the beaming faces of a bride and groom when they look back at the pictures that they have taken, and not the
face of the officiant that they will never see again. I decided to test this theory with my clients, and to this day, they have
all agreed that it made more sense for them to be facing their family and friends. Why on earth would people want to take
pictures of me? At all of the weddings that I have performed to date, when I announced this, people were always
pleasantly surprised that I suggested this arrangement, and agreed that it just made sense.
To picture how this looks, you need to know that you are not directly facing your guests. The bride and groom are on a
slant facing each other, while your officiant is on the side of you, on a slant as well, and not having his or her back to your
guests. This way, if you are an emotional or nervous couple, you can avoid this by focusing on each other, and focusing
on me. While I cannot look at you the whole time, as I am reading your vows, as all vows are different, so I can't not
possibly remember your vows by heart, I am looking up and down throughout the ceremony. But the point is, that if the
three of us only focus on each other, you won't lose it! And if you do, so be it! That is natural and perfectly O.K.
Of course, this is just an option for the bride and groom and not something that they must do. But it is something to think
about.
Unique Idea Beyond Tradition
Wine, Box, & Love Letter Ceremony
While there are so many traditions that a couple can incorporate into their wedding vows, such as the Unity Candle, The
Rose Exchange, and many more, there is one special idea that I learned about from my dear friend, Richard Carson
(Thanks Rich!) who attended a wedding in Holland. While he was not sure if it was a Dutch tradition, nor did he know the
wording for this particular ceremony (to which I created my own.) he found it to be extremely touching. When he returned
to the states, he could not wait to share this with me. Basically the JP or officiant asks the couple getting married to find a
strong wooden box that will hold two bottles of wine and two wine glasses. The couple is then asked to each write a
letter to one another, expressing their thoughts about the good qualities that they found in their future partner and their
reasons for falling in love with each other. Under no condition can they read each other’s letter. They are to seal them
and put them in the box with the wine and glasses. Upon finalizing the wedding ceremony, the officiant will announce to
the guests that he / she had asked the couple to write letters to each other and put them in the box with the wine and
glasses. The officiant will explain that should the couple ever find their marriage in serious trouble, before making any
irrational decisions, they must open the box, drink wine together, and read the letter that they wrote to one another to
reflect on why they fell in love with each other in the first place. The hope is that there will never be a reason to have to
open the box, unless of course, it is for a 10th year anniversary! (This is not meant to have a negative tone by any means
as some may perceive it to be. It is meant to only be positive and in my ceremonies is worded as such. In this day and
age, it is only "too common" to give up too easily in a marriage -- Just take a look at Hollywood.) At the wedding in Holland,
members of the wedding party were handed nails to hammer the box shut. However, I do not use the hammer and nails,
and ask the couple to just close the box or latch it instead of using a hammer and nails.) This is only a suggestion, but I
just think that it makes the ceremony extra special for the couple.
Truthfully, I find this to be the most romantic (and coolest!) addition to incorporate into a marriage ceremony. Not that my
husband and I needed to do this (well O.K., maybe sometimes!), but I wish that we had. It would have been fun opening it
up on our 10th, 15th, 20th, or 25th Anniversary! All joking aside, I simply cannot tell you just how popular this has become.
And I simply cannot express enough just how much it is better to NOT TELL YOUR GUEST / FAMILY MEMBERS / WEDDING
PARTY that you are doing this! Every ceremony that I have officiated over with this being incorporated into their vows
has been nothing but a huge surprise and hit! People actually cry. They are overwhelmed and pleased to have been a
witness to something so unique and different at a wedding ceremony.
My clients have been extremely creative with their boxes by putting foam inside to raise up and support their wine
glasses and their wine. They have also lined the inside with satin or silk material. Not only have they put their letters to
each other, their wine and their glasses, in their box, but they included CDs of their favorite music, favorite pictures of
themselves together, etc. One ceremony that I officiated over had every member of their wedding party also put a letter
in the box expressing their feelings about the couple. Having said that, I am always excited about seeing each and every
box when I arrive at their ceremony. They are always uniquely made. One couple turned their box into a coffee table
made out of three different kinds of wood. (Please see some picture samples below.)
The Officiant would say the following:
( EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY - SEPTEMBER 20, 2006, PLEASE CONTACT ME DIRECTLY FOR THE WORDING FOR THIS
CEREMONY)
Unfortunately, due to the continuous pirating of work that I, Carol J. Merletti, www.weddingofyourdesire.com ” have
written for the WINE, BOX, AND LOVE LETTER CERMONY on other wedding websites, without my permission, or giving me
the credit to my copyright wording for this particular ceremony, I have been forced to remove this from my website. I
simply cannot tell you just how much this has upset me since my website has been up-and-running. I am truly upset over
this and dishearten by the dishonesty of others. When I posted this on my website, it was meant, and only meant, to help
couples think about how they could make their wedding vows “unique” and “different”, and to incorporate something into
their wedding vows that was different from most ceremonies. It was never meant for other wedding websites to remove
my work and take credit for my work.
Therefore, effective immediately, if you wish to know about the particular, special, and unique wording to be included in
your wedding vows, you are most welcome to contact me directly at carol@weddingofyourdesire.com, or at 781-322-8857
-- Author, Carol J. Merletti --
During the many weddings that I have attended before becoming a Justice of the Peace, I often wondered why the
officiant faced the guests, while the bride and groom had their backs towards them when exchanging the most important
aspect of their wedding ceremony – their vows. It always appeared strange to me. When guests are taking pictures, they
want to see the beaming faces of a bride and groom when they look back at the pictures that they have taken, and not the
face of the officiant that they will never see again. I decided to test this theory with my clients, and to this day, they have
all agreed that it made more sense for them to be facing their family and friends. Why on earth would people want to take
pictures of me? At all of the weddings that I have performed to date, when I announced this, people were always
pleasantly surprised that I suggested this arrangement, and agreed that it just made sense.
To picture how this looks, you need to know that you are not directly facing your guests. The bride and groom are on a
slant facing each other, while your officiant is on the side of you, on a slant as well, and not having his or her back to your
guests. This way, if you are an emotional or nervous couple, you can avoid this by focusing on each other, and focusing
on me. While I cannot look at you the whole time, as I am reading your vows, as all vows are different, so I can't not
possibly remember your vows by heart, I am looking up and down throughout the ceremony. But the point is, that if the
three of us only focus on each other, you won't lose it! And if you do, so be it! That is natural and perfectly O.K.
Of course, this is just an option for the bride and groom and not something that they must do. But it is something to think
about.
Unique Idea Beyond Tradition
Wine, Box, & Love Letter Ceremony
While there are so many traditions that a couple can incorporate into their wedding vows, such as the Unity Candle, The
Rose Exchange, and many more, there is one special idea that I learned about from my dear friend, Richard Carson
(Thanks Rich!) who attended a wedding in Holland. While he was not sure if it was a Dutch tradition, nor did he know the
wording for this particular ceremony (to which I created my own.) he found it to be extremely touching. When he returned
to the states, he could not wait to share this with me. Basically the JP or officiant asks the couple getting married to find a
strong wooden box that will hold two bottles of wine and two wine glasses. The couple is then asked to each write a
letter to one another, expressing their thoughts about the good qualities that they found in their future partner and their
reasons for falling in love with each other. Under no condition can they read each other’s letter. They are to seal them
and put them in the box with the wine and glasses. Upon finalizing the wedding ceremony, the officiant will announce to
the guests that he / she had asked the couple to write letters to each other and put them in the box with the wine and
glasses. The officiant will explain that should the couple ever find their marriage in serious trouble, before making any
irrational decisions, they must open the box, drink wine together, and read the letter that they wrote to one another to
reflect on why they fell in love with each other in the first place. The hope is that there will never be a reason to have to
open the box, unless of course, it is for a 10th year anniversary! (This is not meant to have a negative tone by any means
as some may perceive it to be. It is meant to only be positive and in my ceremonies is worded as such. In this day and
age, it is only "too common" to give up too easily in a marriage -- Just take a look at Hollywood.) At the wedding in Holland,
members of the wedding party were handed nails to hammer the box shut. However, I do not use the hammer and nails,
and ask the couple to just close the box or latch it instead of using a hammer and nails.) This is only a suggestion, but I
just think that it makes the ceremony extra special for the couple.
Truthfully, I find this to be the most romantic (and coolest!) addition to incorporate into a marriage ceremony. Not that my
husband and I needed to do this (well O.K., maybe sometimes!), but I wish that we had. It would have been fun opening it
up on our 10th, 15th, 20th, or 25th Anniversary! All joking aside, I simply cannot tell you just how popular this has become.
And I simply cannot express enough just how much it is better to NOT TELL YOUR GUEST / FAMILY MEMBERS / WEDDING
PARTY that you are doing this! Every ceremony that I have officiated over with this being incorporated into their vows
has been nothing but a huge surprise and hit! People actually cry. They are overwhelmed and pleased to have been a
witness to something so unique and different at a wedding ceremony.
My clients have been extremely creative with their boxes by putting foam inside to raise up and support their wine
glasses and their wine. They have also lined the inside with satin or silk material. Not only have they put their letters to
each other, their wine and their glasses, in their box, but they included CDs of their favorite music, favorite pictures of
themselves together, etc. One ceremony that I officiated over had every member of their wedding party also put a letter
in the box expressing their feelings about the couple. Having said that, I am always excited about seeing each and every
box when I arrive at their ceremony. They are always uniquely made. One couple turned their box into a coffee table
made out of three different kinds of wood. (Please see some picture samples below.)
The Officiant would say the following:
( EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY - SEPTEMBER 20, 2006, PLEASE CONTACT ME DIRECTLY FOR THE WORDING FOR THIS
CEREMONY)
Unfortunately, due to the continuous pirating of work that I, Carol J. Merletti, www.weddingofyourdesire.com ” have
written for the WINE, BOX, AND LOVE LETTER CERMONY on other wedding websites, without my permission, or giving me
the credit to my copyright wording for this particular ceremony, I have been forced to remove this from my website. I
simply cannot tell you just how much this has upset me since my website has been up-and-running. I am truly upset over
this and dishearten by the dishonesty of others. When I posted this on my website, it was meant, and only meant, to help
couples think about how they could make their wedding vows “unique” and “different”, and to incorporate something into
their wedding vows that was different from most ceremonies. It was never meant for other wedding websites to remove
my work and take credit for my work.
Therefore, effective immediately, if you wish to know about the particular, special, and unique wording to be included in
your wedding vows, you are most welcome to contact me directly at carol@weddingofyourdesire.com, or at 781-322-8857
-- Author, Carol J. Merletti --
Have a Slideshow of You Both Growing Up Separately and Then Together at Your Reception
At your reception, have a slideshow containing pictures of you both growing up until you get to the present. (If you would
rather be surprised with the outcome, perhaps both moms and/or your bridesmaids can compile it.)
Group pictures of you both growing up separately on the same slides when you were both approximately the same age. It
could be your baby photos, first days of school, etc. Use whatever you can get your hands on! The more similarities -- the
better! Be careful as you grow into your teenage years. This is your day as bride and groom, so avoid including former
flames if you include prom photos and so forth.
As the slides progress through the baby photos, young childhood, middle childhood, teenage years, and so forth,
coordinate appropriate music to fit with those themed slides. You can easily do this through Microsoft PowerPoint’s
slideshow functions, or custom create a CD with proper timing to your slides.
Finally, conclude with your grand finale of photos when the two of you met, and progress through the present. This
sentimental display will serve as an adorable and emotional keepsake for years to come. Doubtless you will need a few
boxes of tissues for your moms and very dear friends.
Put Your Engagement Photo on a Postage Stamp When Sending Out Your Wedding Invitations / or a Wedding
Picture on Your Thank You Cards
I found this website on the Internet. It is the coolest thing! I just ordered stamps with pictures of my dog, Augie and my
cat, Smokey on them.
http://www.photo.stamps.com
Put Your Wedding Date on Custom Printed M&M's at http://www.mymms.com/weddings/index.asp
Share Your Precious Memories
Showcase your love for each other by decorating a table with photos, albums, and memorabilia from the various
unforgettable times you have spent together. Vacations you have taken, special events and outings you have attended,
and basically any fun times and activities you have shared could be displayed in the form of sporting or musical event
tickets, a stuffed animal, or countless other small tokens of your lives together. (Reception halls will be very happy to
help you set up such a display table.)
Surprise Your Parents / Grandparents at the Conclusion of your Wedding Ceremony
Once you are pronounced as husband and wife, as you walk up the aisle together to the back of the church or function
hall, turn around and walk back down the aisle to escort our parents out instead of having the ushers do it - your parents,
as well as your guests, will be surprised and find it a great gesture.
Instead of a Guest Book, Have an Engravable Tray Near the Entrance of your Reception
Arrange to have an engraving tool and sterling silver tray placed on a table. Have someone stand at the table as your
guests arrive and instruct them on how to engrave their name on the tray.
The memories of your wedding day will stay with you forever when you display your tray in your home for all to see. It most
certainly is an alternative to a guest book that most people won't see again.
Sponsor a Sick Kids Hospital
While you will always want your guests best wishes at your wedding, something more meaningful that will always remain
forever in your hearts would be to sponsor a "Sick Kids Hospital". You can do this by placing a card in your wedding
invitation asking them to make a donation to sick kids in lieu of wedding gifts. Include an envelope in your invitation.
Have a box available at the entrance of your function hall for your guests to drop in as they enter your ceremony /
reception. Make sure that you provide the information on the charity that you are sponsoring. Not only will your guests
appreciate this idea, but they will find this to be a generous contribution for a good cause.
In Lieu of Tossing the Bouquet, Give a Rose to Every Female
Make the rose a duplicate of one of the flowers in your bouquet. Have a poem attached to each rose declaring your
wishes for love, success, health and happiness.
Instead of Carrying a Bouquet, Have your Guests on the Outside Aisles Hand you a Flower
As you walk down the aisle, have each guest seated on the end hand you a flower. When you reach the front of the
church, have your dad tie a ribbon around the bouquet.
At your reception, have a slideshow containing pictures of you both growing up until you get to the present. (If you would
rather be surprised with the outcome, perhaps both moms and/or your bridesmaids can compile it.)
Group pictures of you both growing up separately on the same slides when you were both approximately the same age. It
could be your baby photos, first days of school, etc. Use whatever you can get your hands on! The more similarities -- the
better! Be careful as you grow into your teenage years. This is your day as bride and groom, so avoid including former
flames if you include prom photos and so forth.
As the slides progress through the baby photos, young childhood, middle childhood, teenage years, and so forth,
coordinate appropriate music to fit with those themed slides. You can easily do this through Microsoft PowerPoint’s
slideshow functions, or custom create a CD with proper timing to your slides.
Finally, conclude with your grand finale of photos when the two of you met, and progress through the present. This
sentimental display will serve as an adorable and emotional keepsake for years to come. Doubtless you will need a few
boxes of tissues for your moms and very dear friends.
Put Your Engagement Photo on a Postage Stamp When Sending Out Your Wedding Invitations / or a Wedding
Picture on Your Thank You Cards
I found this website on the Internet. It is the coolest thing! I just ordered stamps with pictures of my dog, Augie and my
cat, Smokey on them.
http://www.photo.stamps.com
Put Your Wedding Date on Custom Printed M&M's at http://www.mymms.com/weddings/index.asp
Share Your Precious Memories
Showcase your love for each other by decorating a table with photos, albums, and memorabilia from the various
unforgettable times you have spent together. Vacations you have taken, special events and outings you have attended,
and basically any fun times and activities you have shared could be displayed in the form of sporting or musical event
tickets, a stuffed animal, or countless other small tokens of your lives together. (Reception halls will be very happy to
help you set up such a display table.)
Surprise Your Parents / Grandparents at the Conclusion of your Wedding Ceremony
Once you are pronounced as husband and wife, as you walk up the aisle together to the back of the church or function
hall, turn around and walk back down the aisle to escort our parents out instead of having the ushers do it - your parents,
as well as your guests, will be surprised and find it a great gesture.
Instead of a Guest Book, Have an Engravable Tray Near the Entrance of your Reception
Arrange to have an engraving tool and sterling silver tray placed on a table. Have someone stand at the table as your
guests arrive and instruct them on how to engrave their name on the tray.
The memories of your wedding day will stay with you forever when you display your tray in your home for all to see. It most
certainly is an alternative to a guest book that most people won't see again.
Sponsor a Sick Kids Hospital
While you will always want your guests best wishes at your wedding, something more meaningful that will always remain
forever in your hearts would be to sponsor a "Sick Kids Hospital". You can do this by placing a card in your wedding
invitation asking them to make a donation to sick kids in lieu of wedding gifts. Include an envelope in your invitation.
Have a box available at the entrance of your function hall for your guests to drop in as they enter your ceremony /
reception. Make sure that you provide the information on the charity that you are sponsoring. Not only will your guests
appreciate this idea, but they will find this to be a generous contribution for a good cause.
In Lieu of Tossing the Bouquet, Give a Rose to Every Female
Make the rose a duplicate of one of the flowers in your bouquet. Have a poem attached to each rose declaring your
wishes for love, success, health and happiness.
Instead of Carrying a Bouquet, Have your Guests on the Outside Aisles Hand you a Flower
As you walk down the aisle, have each guest seated on the end hand you a flower. When you reach the front of the
church, have your dad tie a ribbon around the bouquet.
| (c) Copyright – Carol J. Merletti – Weddingofyourdesire.com. All rights reserved. The information on this page may not be reproduced, republished or mirrored, in whole or in part, on another webpage or website without the expressed written consent of the copyright holder and is strictly prohibited by International Copyright Law. |
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